HOW WE WORK
Discover the power of Couple to Couple Coaching.
The Coaching Journey
Free Initial Conversation
We’ll meet (in person or online) for 30 minutes. We’ll explain the coaching journey, answer your questions and you’ll be able to decide together whether to commit to a coaching journey with us.
Coaching Sessions
We initially agree to work together for four 90-minutes sessions over a two to three month period. Progress and change happen at rates that are unique to each couple and this allows the coaching relationship the necessary time to develop and progress.
Tools and Skills
Our approach is forward-looking and solution-focused, so by the end of your coaching journey with us you’ll have learned and developed the skills you both need to continue your relationship in a healthy way.
Why couple coaching?
For many of us, a lifelong couple relationship is one of our deepest yearnings. Yet it’s also one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. Strangely, it can also feel like a very lonely journey that we’re expected to navigate on our own, with little help.
That’s where couple coaching can be such a lifesaver. It provides the support you need to navigate the journey of building and sustaining a flourishing relationship.
Each relationship is unique. Coaching gives you a chance to agree as a couple where you would like to be and identify how you need to grow and develop your relationship to get there.
It provides an opportunity to learn skills that can help you to achieve the relationship you really want.
As coaches we don't tell you what to do, or give advice, because we respect the uniqueness of each couple and the relationship they build. We recognise your desire to choose your own path and we welcome couples of all backgrounds, beliefs and values. The focus of the coaching conversation isn't on what the coach has to tell you, but on what the coach can draw out of you. By simply listening intently and asking intelligent questions, we believe we can help you to gain new insights and effective solutions to the challenges you face. It also provides a safe space for the two of you to have important conversations that may feel too difficult at present to have on your own and to be able to express important thoughts, emotions and desires that you want to explore. So often we’ve heard couples say to us, ‘We couldn’t have had that conversation without you.’
We will also give you new tools to help you build and sustain your relationship so that you can ultimately ‘coach’ your own relationship together.
Why ‘Couple to Couple’?
A couple relationship is an intimate and sensitive thing and it often takes great courage to open up and share our deepest challenges, feelings and desires. It takes a safe space and trusting relationship to do so.
Many individual coaches and therapists do wonderful work with couples. However, some couples find that working with an individual coach can lead to perceptions of gender bias or ‘taking sides’ that is unhelpful.
With ‘couple to couple’ coaching we intentionally avoid the risk of those perceptions. We always coach the couple together (ie with all four of us ‘in the room’) so that each person’s voice is heard by everyone. Our commitment is not to either of the couple individually but to both as a couple and to their relationship. Indeed, we often find it helpful to think of your relationship as our ‘client’.
With both of us coaching together we also bring our own relationship into the conversation. We’ve been together for 40 years and have been through many of the joys and challenges of a long relationship. We’ve certainly done ‘for better, for worse’. We’re happy to openly share our own experiences where helpful.
We understand and have experienced many of the challenges, failures and pain that couples go through so we don’t judge or presume that we know what’s right for you. Many of our clients speak of the acceptance, empathy and compassion they experienced in this ‘couple to couple’ context.
Who do we coach?
Coaching is designed for couples who want to continually build their relationship over time. It therefore requires both a shared commitment and the emotional capacity to invest in change and development over a period of several months.
We love to work with couples from all backgrounds who share that commitment. Examples of couples we have successfully coached include:
Dating or engaged couples who are exploring whether they want to make a lifelong commitment to each other.
Couples early in their relationship working through unexpected tensions or conflict.
Couples navigating life’s common challenges; redundancy, ill-health, starting a family, young children, ‘empty nest’ etc
Couples in mid-life facing the challenges of family and careers who want to take a ‘step up’ in the quality of their relationship.
Couples in later life who want to embrace the idea that “The best is yet to come” and ensure their relationship flourishes in their ‘3rd age’.
While we are happy to coach couples struggling with significant challenges, specialist help should be sought from a qualified counsellor if your relationship is suffering from major issues such as untreated addictions, physical or mental abuse, an ongoing affair or any mental health or depression issues. If this is the case for you, then we would be happy to help put you in touch with someone who can help.
Our approach
Couple coaching isn’t counselling or therapy, although we respect and value both those clinical disciplines. The coaching approach is quite distinctive and characterised by being:
Client-centric. We don’t come with a pre-defined program or curriculum. We always work with your agenda and goals. We won’t go into areas unless you invite us in.
Forward looking. Our aim is to help you build the future you want. We’re happy to explore the past when necessary but only as a way to help build the future.
Solution focussed. We’re more interested in what works than what doesn’t work! We want to help you find workable solutions that help you flourish.
Strengths building. You both have unique strengths and talents that you bring to your relationship. We want to help you build on your strengths.
Action oriented. We’ll give you practical tools and help you develop the daily behaviours that will build and strengthen your relationship from the first day after we meet.
Our commitments
Effective coaching is based on a great, trusting, relationship between us and you both. That’s why we insist on an initial meeting or call to get to know each other. It’s vital that you feel comfortable and confident to work with us.
Within that trusting relationship we commit to:
Be non-judgmental, objective & open.
Focus on the goals & outcomes that you choose.
Encourage & challenge you to reach your full potential and build the future you want.
Reflect back to you what we observe in your relationship to help you each gain greater self-awareness.
Provide ideas and suggestions that you are free to choose if they help you move forward rather than direct or instruct you.
Observe confidentiality of all discussions at all times unless there is a potential for, or a risk to, yourself, others, or the law (see our approach to safeguarding).
Your commitments
The coaching process will involve direct, honest and collaborative communication between us and you.
To get real benefit from the coaching process you need to be prepared to:
Disclose relevant information regarding current and past experiences in your life.
Disclose any other ‘talking’ therapies you are currently having (e.g. counselling or therapy).
Be prepared to thoughtfully consider any feedback we provide and embrace any necessary change to achieve your goals.
Recognise that growth in your relationship will primarily come from the changes you make outside the coaching sessions and so be willing to invest time and energy in developing your relationship in between coaching sessions.
The fine details
After our initial free 30-minute chat, if you’re ready to proceed we’ll arrange a series of four coaching sessions with you – lasting 90 minutes if online, or two hours if in person. It’s likely that sessions will be 2–4 weeks apart.
Coaching is an important investment for your relationship. We have a flexible pricing structure to make coaching accessible for everyone. We never want finances to get in the way of people getting the support they need.
Download the Couple to Couple Coaching Information Pack →
If you’ve got questions, please send an email to info@coupletocouplecoaching.co.uk.